©Betty Luceigh, 2014
WORD Document (as recorded in video)
September 2, 2014
Tears well from my eyes
and I pause to ask within:
“For what do I have such deep sadness
or is it such expansive joy
that my cheeks are wetted so?
Of what may my words find their song?”
For how am I to connect to you otherwise
without the option of our touch
or the reflection of our eyes.
I have words better spoken than thought.
They sound from my unconscious,
the observer of my world within
and my world without,
and connect them naturally
as I would long to connect to you.
I need not tell you my life’s story.
I need not tell my past of doing
so much as my current stage of being,
my current interpretation
of the good-true-beautiful, body-mind-heart,
my minor self sensing the origin of my Full Self.
I feel this longing as I now speak,
believing you also have such longings
though we may differ in their expressive forms.
I feel what fundamentally holds me together individually
is reaching to hold us as well collectively,
a force operating here in this very moment.
I dream, and in that nightly state I allow for absurdities,
distorted realities, all manner of motion and contorted plots.
I accept the dream vision for what it may suggest
as a metaphor of some truth.
If I give myself the same allowance when awake, what then?
Might what I label “absurd” be viewed instead
as a clue to undiscovered coherence?
Might what I identify as YOU and ME
be more truly experienced as the identity of WE?
In our society, we so often want information
without the effort of rationality,
want the excitement of “on-the-edge” novelty
without the care of its consequences,
want to arouse our minds with the extraordinary and the extreme
without stirring our hearts,
in hope of finding, finding……finding what?
Longing for what?
Security? Control?…Something yet unidentified?
If we present ourselves authentically to each other,
accepting our differences and ignoring categorizations,
if we simply share the truth of our personal stories and lessons,
perhaps we can transcend the assumptions of competition,
and discover a natural flow of universal principles
played out by all humans in their endeavors
when envisioned as a whole.
We might then begin to see ourselves connected as a WE,
and recognize a shared longing to evolve as co-participants
toward an exquisite culmination of mind and heart.
If we individually dare not speak of our own longings,
then how are we to discover our common one?
If we cannot listen and speak humbly and kindly to each other,
how can we hear each other’s truths?
How can we choose together to move beyond behaviors
of self-aggrandizement, cruelty, greed, domination?
For now, I stand openly as one illustrating
the meaning of “self-expression” or “bringing forth”
that resides within me,
from the chemical intimacy of each cell nucleus
to the unfathomable interconnections of my whole being.
I speak in hope that those in doubt
may be encouraged to express themselves from a perspective
driven by the encoded messages of profound meaning
derived from our shared origins.
I admit I often still resist sharing.
An urgency to speak draws me at times reluctantly forward,
while comfort of routine teases me into the illusion of static ease.
Often I waver between the voice of my deepest longing
and my resistance to its expression.
But in this moment, I do not resist, I cannot resist,
for in your presence, my longing reaches out to yours
naked of all else
as it cries out to connect.
And what is my longing for?
How can I stand here so exposed and share myself,
having not yet realized the full truth of an answer?
I am aware of my ignorance and speak anyway,
aware of my fears and share beyond them now.
I must speak out of hope,
hope of overcoming separations
that inflame horrors among our species,
hope of awakening our co-existence with Earth
lest we destroy ourselves by abusing her.
I must speak of my fragment of an answer,
that when merged with all of yours
will create something
that can better embrace us all.
So this is my personal offering.
I envision from the moment our universe began
that it has inherently followed one simple directive:
self-expression through evolving forms and processes.
From the universe expressing itself
at the birth of its creative evolution,
from quarks expressing themselves to create protons,
from protons expressing themselves to create atoms,
and so also from atoms to molecules
to cells to all of life,
the universe has brought itself forth to this level of complexity
driven to express what it truly is:
matter in forms, energy in processes.
We humans are one outcome of these universal origins.
We are here with the enigmatic gift of self-awareness,
able to explore our outer world and inner selves,
able to discover the story of our own long journey to this moment
so that we may find our meaning within it,
and become co-participants in creativity
as we continue to evolve together with our planet.
The meaning of ME is more fully realized
as a participant in the meaning of WE.
I believe the nature of my self-expression,
will influence our common fate:
extinction or evolving fulfillment.
I believe the meaning of the WE of humanity
can be incomprehensibly grand in both heart and mind,
far beyond contemporary imagination,
a new meaning yet to be created,
but influenced by our presence together now,
Building good and true connections
offers an opportunity
to liberate the most beautiful within ourselves
as an enduring gift.
It is a gift that will continue indefinitely as our legacy.
The reality is we will never know the conclusion
of our ongoing human story.
This need not diminish our longing
to contribute with generosity and wisdom
during our own short but significant participation.
Our individual self-expression is a unique treasure
with only one opportunity to fulfill its universal directive.
So what will I do as my forms and processes of self-expression?
I will not speak of the forms of my personal hardships
except to acknowledge yours.
I will not elaborate the processes of my personal development
except to encourage you to be aware of yours.
I will not overlook the many, many already participating in loving ways
to expand their local connections beyond barriers of resistance.
But I will speak to the diversity of forms among us
that will contribute to the emergence of a new WE.
I will speak to an accelerating transitional process
now converging as whispers toward global cooperation.
I will speak to universal principles
that inherently direct the manifestation of both forms and processes.
I will speak to the significance of the process
of creating the authenticity of the WE
by first finding authenticity within oneself.
For I believe I am a fragment of humanity,
not as a piece in a puzzle to be solved,
but a fragment of creativity in a process,
which by being authentic in my individual self
can influence for the better the outcome of our shared existence.
I am personally compelled to transmit it through me
as Beauty within sounds
with the hope that you will experience their flow of Beauty through you
as our sacred mergence of intent.
I dream of a process in which through connecting
to the truth of my self,
the goodness of my self,
and the beauty of my self,
I will better recognize
the diversity of their forms within each of you
and connect to you as a more authentic participant
in our shared meaning.
Might you have a similar dream?
I sense as I integrate the roles of body, heart, and mind within myself that I will see the body of humanity
with kindness of heart
and clarity of mind.
In so doing I believe my actions will better serve
our current process of an evolutionary transition toward wholeness.
Might you sense something similar?
These spoken words–
connection, longing, authenticity, integration, self-expression, forms, processes, complexity, universal principles, emerging direction, co-creativity–
they swirl in the space embracing us now,
ready to form the pattern of a new vision of the whole of humanity,
an evolving restructuring of our connections to each other and Earth.
This is the partial vocabulary of new interactive frameworks,
each word, when understood, advancing a common language
to guide us through the mysteries of our common yearnings
driven by the universal directive of self-expression.
So, yes, tears do well from my eyes
to speak such words that sound from deep within me,
my self-expression through my evolving forms and processes,
my awareness longing to connect with yours.
And, yes, the tears that wet my cheeks are from expansive joy.
For these are my words,
their truth now spoken,
their meaning from ME
liberated to the WE.